


Nascent

by Onus_Probandi



Series: Pre-canon and Canon Narratives [1]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Genderbending, Spoilers, and he's a he, it's basically Cadence but from 2B's pov, it's sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 06:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onus_Probandi/pseuds/Onus_Probandi
Summary: (Pre-game)2E struggles with the concept of identity and selfishness.





	Nascent

## Nascent

* * *

Hourglass

2E could never forget the look of betrayal on her face the first time he killed her. It was burned into his skin, her sudden tears searing his synthetic flesh and eating down his inner workings until it reached bone and nested there in bitter solitude. The expression only lasted a second, yet to even fully form on her face before her functions ceased.

He was a merciful murderer. Though he wanted her dead, he couldn’t imagine her in pain. He took no pleasure in death, and such, he was defective. Other E models saw this as just ‘duty’, yet he saw this as punishment to the nth degree. He was defective, too emotionally attached to his target, and therefore he was made to suffer.

Over. And over. And over. And over. And over. Sand in the hourglass, routine missions passing by in mundane sameness and predictability.

He wanted to hate her and all she stood for. She was a memory given life, given purpose and that purpose was to torment him in her simple ways. It could be in the way she always referred to him as “sir” or the way she asked to be called “Nines” – he had given her that nickname – or the way she tried to fill empty air with conversation. She was the embodiment of every 9S he had slain and then some because he _couldn’t hate her_.

Defective. Violently defective.

Where was the rage he manifested when she was hurt? Where was that righteous anger when he met her again and again? Why couldn’t he manifest that anger and hate her? Why did his blood freeze in his systems, running cold when she was trapped? Why did he keep perpetuating the lie that he never knew her before and that all the time she spent up until that point was spent on isolated recon missions?

He was atrocious in his programming, his desires to keep her close and yet push her away. He could refuse to continue this madness and have her assigned to another E model. She could become someone else’s problem, someone else’s hunting trophy. Or, if it pained him so to see her die, he could desert with her, set her free from her obligation to death.

And yet, he did neither. And his defection continued to spread as more tears ate away at his circuitry, his systems corrupted by the virus that was _her_.

And yet, he let her eat away at him. The alternative, being alone, was one he never considered.

He wasn’t defective.

He was selfish.

He didn’t care how she felt. He _couldn’t_. If he ever did that much introspection, he would receive answers he never wanted. He would have to let her go, and she was so deeply ingrained in his code, that he would lose himself in the process.

 

* * *

 

 

Notes: Someone once told me I couldn’t do genderbent 2B9S. So, I created this passion project of mine.


End file.
